Yesterday I donated blood.  It was simple enough, the owners of our building set up these blood drives every few months.  With the exception of me not screwing up what day it is supposed to be on (don’t ask) it’s nothing more than me signing up for a time and showing up. 

I appreciate the fact that they do make it so easy.  I think donating is important, but it’s also difficult to find time to get to the donations centers otherwise.  When I got down there I went through the typical paperwork, but then they asked if I’d be willing to donate red blood cells.  The process takes 30 mins, but it was apparently pretty desperately needed.  Here’s the kicker though.  Last time I tried to do that, it did NOT end well. 

To get the red blood cells specifically, they take the blood out of your system just like a “regular” donation.  However, that’s where the similarities end.  The blood gets filtered through a machine, red blood cells taken out, and then the blood (sans cells) get put back in.  Now, the first/last time I did this I got SERIOUSLY cold (one possible side effect) and no amount of blankets and heated saline could warm me.  Then when the blood was trying to reenter my system, my veins ended up collapsing which was seriously painful.  They ended up having to end the drawl early and as a result the entire contents had to be discarded.  Super disappointing, and rather scary.  You can imagine my reaction when they asked me to do it again….

After explaining what happened last time 10 years previously, they reassured me that technology had improved and they would take good care of me.  Suddenly all I could see in my mind’s eye were these three little kids whose (parents) blogs I follow.  2 of the kids had bone marrow transplants, the third looked at it but it would have only served to extend his exceptionally painful condition.  Of the other 2, only 1 survived.  Sweet Theo’s body couldn’t fight the GVH.  It sounds dramatic (though I promise it really wasn’t) but the truth is, how could I say no?

So of course I said yes. 

As I lay there  could feel my heart beating up in my throat.  I tried so hard to just STAY CALM which, as it turns out is rather difficult when your own tubes of blood are laying across your lap. 

All and all I was doing ok until the first return.  That’s when I freaked out a bit.  In the end I just reminded myself that this?  This was NOTHING.  Not compared to the hell that whoever would be receiving my cells would be going through.  So instead, as I felt the anxiety rise I would whisper little prayers, little well wishes to those cells.  I told them to stay safe and healthy.  To take good care of whoever ended up with them.  To help them get healthy. 

It sound ridiculous I realize but the truth is I needed something a bit out there to keep me grounded when I felt myself getting anxious. 

Turns out that did the trick.  Just at the 30 min mark the final return completed and that was it.  I was done.  But I’ll be back.